Ugh! Twice this week people called me effeminate, either directly or by allusion. Makes me mad every time I hear it. And yet, considering that over the years a person here and there has either stated or alluded to it, or even insisted that I was gay (I'm not!), or metrosexual, I suppose it's time to do a little reflection on it.
According to the online Miriam-Webster dictionary, effeminate means 'having or showing qualities that are considered more suited to women than to men: not manly.' and 1) having feminine qualities untypical of a man : not manly in appearance or manner, and 2) marked by an unbecoming delicacy or overrefinement <effeminate art> <an effeminate civilization>
Oy! So people perceive that I have mannerisms that seem feminine, and they think I'm gay or effeminate.
My thoughts and reactions to it? Well, I take it as a flaw, that there's something wrong with me, that I don't portray manliness and gruff; that I like to be expressive and a bit sensual, that I enjoy nature and music, that I live somewhat in fantasy and like to play. From inside of me I think, big deal, life is to be enjoyed, yes? And yet, from the side of me that wants social acceptance, I think, oh shit!
Someone might ask, why do you care? (Actually, I wonder the same thing.) Well, having grown up Catholic in a very traditional family setting, I am fairly conservative in how I think of myself and how I fit in society. I love having women as partners, and I love my wife. The thought of being thought of as not much of a man is revulsive to me.
Anyway, I'm an Aquarian - a real Aquarian (Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Venus there), so I'm probably not the saltiest, earthiest guy around. Rather, I like to talk and engage deeply in topics and themes, and I'm a deep meditator and spiritualist from time to time. Having such a deep connection to nature (and my nature) probably causes me to express a bit more sensuality than the average fellow, and because of that I'm taken wrongly. I supposed I could have been cursed with worse!
According to the online Miriam-Webster dictionary, effeminate means 'having or showing qualities that are considered more suited to women than to men: not manly.' and 1) having feminine qualities untypical of a man : not manly in appearance or manner, and 2) marked by an unbecoming delicacy or overrefinement <effeminate art> <an effeminate civilization>
Oy! So people perceive that I have mannerisms that seem feminine, and they think I'm gay or effeminate.
My thoughts and reactions to it? Well, I take it as a flaw, that there's something wrong with me, that I don't portray manliness and gruff; that I like to be expressive and a bit sensual, that I enjoy nature and music, that I live somewhat in fantasy and like to play. From inside of me I think, big deal, life is to be enjoyed, yes? And yet, from the side of me that wants social acceptance, I think, oh shit!
Someone might ask, why do you care? (Actually, I wonder the same thing.) Well, having grown up Catholic in a very traditional family setting, I am fairly conservative in how I think of myself and how I fit in society. I love having women as partners, and I love my wife. The thought of being thought of as not much of a man is revulsive to me.
Anyway, I'm an Aquarian - a real Aquarian (Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Venus there), so I'm probably not the saltiest, earthiest guy around. Rather, I like to talk and engage deeply in topics and themes, and I'm a deep meditator and spiritualist from time to time. Having such a deep connection to nature (and my nature) probably causes me to express a bit more sensuality than the average fellow, and because of that I'm taken wrongly. I supposed I could have been cursed with worse!
